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Dino Forever: Dean Martin Roast- Governor Ronald Reagan, Man of The Week

August 22, 2014

Governor Ronald Reagan
Source: This piece was originally posted at The New Democrat

Lets see the life of Ronald Reagan? Well he grows up in small town Illinois roughly two-hours or so south of Chicago and comes from a family with a loving, but struggling mother and an alcoholic father who was somewhat absent. And from that he manages to become a lifeguard of their local swimming pool, which was as important and a prestigious of a job as being their town Mayor. And from that he manages to get himself a college education and gets a job in Iowa as one of the Chicago Cubs broadcasters. And telling Cub fans and others what wasn’t happening on the field.

Ronny moves out to California to become an actor and makes it small as a b actor. Well as big as b actors can be, but runs into trouble with some of his movies flopping as badly as a Bill Maher comedy festival and a Richard Dawkins lecture at a Southern Baptist Convention. Ronny discovers in the late 1950s or so that perhaps he’s not quite cut out to be a b actor and sees if there are any openings for c actors and discovers there are no such thing as c actors and moves all the way down through the alphabet and finally arriving a w and discovering there are no w actors and decides that perhaps he needs to find a new career.

Ronny finally gets a job as a General Motors spokesman and hosting the General Motors Theater on NBC. And as he’s doing these appearances for Corporate America he finds that he actually believes the, well garbage (even I have my standards as a blogger) that he’s telling other people and finds his political voice and becomes a spokesman for Senator Barry Goldwater’s 1964 presidential campaign which is where he finds his political voice and from that he gets recruited by California businessman to run for Governor of California in 1966.

Ronny wins the California gubernatorial election in 1966 and not only discovers that he’s not the dictator of California, but Governor of California and that he has a Legislature to deal with and that it is run by the Democratic Party, both the Assembly and Senate. He also discovers that it is also the 1960s and that the hippie movement is in full view especially in California. And then talks to some of his well trusted political advisers who know almost as much about politics as fish know about cars and planes. And tells them “if I knew these things about being Governor of California going in, I wouldn’t of run in 1966”.

Governor Reagan’s political advisers talk the Governor out of resigning and from trying to impeach himself. By telling him that “the voters of California voted for you and trust you to do the job they elected you to”. And also telling him that “governors can’t impeach themselves, only the Assembly can”. Ronny stays on as Governor, gets reelected in 1970 after he was successful in making sure no one else was allowed to run against him by personally erasing all the other names from all the ballots. And Dean Martin and his crew take it from there.


From → Ronald Reagan

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